Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS) is an organisation founded in 1991 by Alice Middleton MBE and is widely recognised as the leading UK charity providing dedicated support to adults who have been bereaved by suicide.
In affiliation with SoBS, We Mind & Kelly Matters run a number of groups across Northamptonshire to offer group support to anyone bereaved by suicide.
Local support groups meet every month for around 2 hours to meet the needs and break the isolation of those bereaved by suicide. A peer-led, self-help organisation where all volunteers have themselves been bereaved by suicide and understand the pain and complexity.
Groups are run each month in location shared with person after registration.
We currently have
1. Wellingborough – 1 st Wednesday each month from 7-9pm
2. Kettering – 2 nd Tuesday each month from 7-9pm
3. Northampton
4. West Northamptonshire
5. East Northamptonshire – Daytime – Raunds
We know it takes courage to come to a group. You won’t have to talk if you don’t want to – many people don’t, particularly the first time that they come. You don’t have to come again – you don’t even have to stay for the whole session if you decide it’s not for you. But most people return after their first meeting and find that over time, they gain the confidence to speak about themselves. After a while they may also find they can offer support to others. If you come to a group but decide that it is not the right thing for you at this time, you are welcome to return at a later date when you feel ready.
If you are interested in attending a group, our bereaved support worker can register you and explain how the groups work.
If you have been bereaved by suicide (2 years ago or more), and are interested in volunteering, and training to become a group facilitator, please email or call for more details. If you are unable to travel to a group and would like details of how to access an online virtual group, please ask us for details of the online virtual groups.
We have put together some of the most often asked questions around our groups
Our only restriction is that for a SoBs group you must be over 18. You will find a real mixture of people, some who may have been bereaved recently, others who may have been bereaved many years before. People may have lost a family member, a friend, a work colleagues or been affected in their professional life.
We are all different, so groups are not right for everyone – and we are not all ready to try them at the same time. Our bereavement support worker will help and answer any questions you may have, and we can arrange for you to talk to each group facilitator across the county. If you don’t find the group helpful, you don’t have to stay or return, you don’t even have to say anything if you don’t want to.
The topics discussed vary from week to week but often includes people sharing their story, how they are feeling, what has happened since their last group visit, questions about coroners and discussions about common challenges such as flashbacks, supporting children or facing neighbours. If very often depends on the number in the group and the time of year for some people.
Most of us are nervous or feel anxious when we attend our first session, it can take a lot of courage. You are welcome to bring a relative or friend with you for support. You won’t have to talk at all if you don’t want to – many people find that they can’t at their first session. Everyone in the room will have experienced bereavement by suicide – it is a place where you can know that others have some understanding of what you are experiencing and that they are not judging you. We can arrange someone to go with you for the first time or meet you at the venue so you don’t feel you are walking in alone.
No – groups are about self-help, connecting people who have been bereaved so that they can support and share with each other. Some people attend groups as well as counselling sessions. If you want to find out more about counselling services, see our other services available
Our groups are led by our trained volunteers and staff at We Mind & Kelly Matters. We typically have a team of 3 volunteers supporting each group. All of our group facilitators have been bereaved by suicide themselves, not less than 2 years previously – as have the majority of our other volunteers.
No – all of the services under N-SAS are free to attend.
We do not have waiting lists. All that is required is your call with the N-SAS team, we ask that you let us know which group you would like to attend, and then we inform all the facilitators. We do not share the exact locations on media, or posters, to protect the confidentiality of the group.
You can come as often as you wish. We all have different needs – some people come more frequently initially and then attend less regularly over time. Others attend every month and others come sporadically. Some people stop coming but after a time something changes or happens which gives rise to feelings that they would like to talk about. Some people return even though they are feeling much stronger because they want support newer group members. If you need more support you can attend the different groups across the county.
We know that the impact of a bereavement by suicide is long lasting and that many people do not find an opportunity to talk about it until many years after. You are welcome to attend our group regardless of how long it has been.
